Missionaries Gotta Do What Missionaries Gotta Do.

Bonjour!!!!

So it has come to pass that the sickness that I had came and passed.  Last Monday I was starting to feel better, that was, until Wednesday when the sickness came back guns a blazin'.  Apparently my ailment wasn't too thrilled about the idea of being EXTERMINATED!!! So it decided to give itself one last try to defeat me.  But alas, I came off conqueror and vanquished said sickness.  All I had to do was go to the hospital one more time and I was all chip chop chip ready to go!  They gave me the weirdest shot that I've ever gotten in my life.  They had this huge syringe attached to a little hose that they poked into my arm and they let a hefty amount of medicine enter my arm.

Sicknesses aside, this week was pretty great.  We were able to get a lot done and we should be having a baptism this upcoming week.  The area is super cool and I'm enjoying my time here.

There was a challenge that I had the other day.  I tried to order pizza by telephone.  This was the conversation I had with the lady on the other end:

ME:   Hey, I'd like to order a ham and cheese pizza.

LADY:   Oh sorry sir, but we don't have that kind of pizza.  We do however have a cheese and ham pizza if you'd like.

ME:   ... Yeah I think that'd be just fine.

LADY:   Is that the pizza you want?

ME:   Yes.

LADY:   Is that the pizza you want?

ME:   ... Yes.

LADY:   Is that the pizza you want?

ME:   Yes, that's the one I want.

LADY:   Are you sure you want that pizza.

ME:   YES!!!!  I'm pretty sure that's the pizza that I want!!!

Patience.  Elder Johnson.  Patience.

This morning I got to play basketball.  For some missionaries this isn't that big of an event, but it's something pretty rare to be doing down here.  We played with some people at the church and then we played with a bunch of firemen.  The firemen were pretty good.

So we had Ward Council Meeting yesterday.  We were discussing the upcoming baptisms and how to plan for future baptisms.  The Relief Society President told me how she had attended a baptism about a year ago and how it was really well done.  How the missionaries had made invites, programs, and that the meeting went over very well.  *-Begin of GH Moment-  Guess who those missionaries were?  It was me and Elder Araujo in Viçosa.  I knew when I got here in the ward I recognized this lady.  Turns out she's the aunt of Maciel one of our converts in Viçosa and was there at the baptism.  After she said that I told her it was me and my companion who did that baptism.  I walked out of the meeting feeling very smug about myself.  -End of GH Moment-

So one thing I learned this week is the importance of preparing to use the priesthood.  I was inspired by the fact that Ephraim Hanks would wash his hands before every blessing he gave and did some other things to prepare.  I thought it would be a wonderful idea to really prepare to perform a gospel ordinance.  This week I was invited to perform a baptism for the sisters in my district.  Their investigator had asked me to perform the baptism.  So I got to thinking that I should try some things to really prepare for the ordinance.  Turns out it made all of the difference.  I was able to perform the baptism and the spirit was so strong.  The girl that I baptized got super emotional before and after and didn't stop crying for quite a bit of time.  When I got out of the changing room one of the sisters turned to me and said, "What did you do to her?" That comment scared me a little bit because I thought I had did something wrong, but it turns out she was just joking and that the girl was just really happy.

One of the members of my district received a revelation for me this week.  They said they had a dream I was sitting at a desk and a bunch of women were standing in line to marry me.  They were just taking turns signing marriage forms.  As interesting as that dream is I don't find it to be a very probable thing to happen.  I think the whole polygamy thing is a no go for the church.

So that's about it for now.  My week was pretty great.  I'm doing great.  Mom, I will not tell you how much I weigh, how much weight I've lost, or anything of that matter.  You're going to see me here in a few weeks and yell, "Tanner!  What did they do to you!?" Missionaries gotta do what missionaries gotta do.

-Élder Johnson

P.S.  *Brazilian Missionary Lingo explanation.  GH = Gloria dos Homens = Glory of Men.  To say that a mission is "GH" (pronounced G agá) is to say that the missionary thinks a lot of himself and is super prideful and whatnot.

P.P.S.  Apparently "No Shave November" is a no go on the mission.