I'm On A Rock...

…and you better believe it.

Well this week sure was an interesting one.  This week we had an integration activity at the church.  You don't really have these in the states, but they have them down here.  It's where you have someone give a spiritual message, and then afterwards, you have games and snacks.  The purpose is to have people bring investigators, get the members to be your friends, and what not.  This last week we were in charge of the games and I knew exactly what kind of game to play.  So here's the game.  You have two teams and they send a representative up to the chalkboard.  We give them something to draw like a dog, cat, or the mascot for the world cup, and they have to draw it.  While drawing, the teams must guess what they're drawing, whichever team guesses correctly first gets a point, and the game goes on for a few rounds until the missionaries have to go home.  Whoever has the most points wins.  Pretty simple game right?  Everyone should be pretty calm right?

Wrong.

People down here are soooooo competitive.  The second we said go everyone just starts screaming at the top of their longs trying to guess what João and Maria are trying to draw.  Everyone just gets way into it.  It was absolute chaos, everyone was weeping, wailing, and gnashing much teeth.  Everyone from the Primary to the Elders Quorum President. Naturally it was a total success and they want us to do it again this week.

I saw this decal on the back of a car that said "Oh Gloria Jesus é bom!"  The thing was as big as the window and I have no idea how this guy was able to look out of his rear view window.

We did have a baptism this week.  It was the grandson of a recent convert and he got to do the baptizing!!  It was super cool; the whole primary was there.  I swear! (Not really, Mormons don’t swear.) Every time it's a primary baptism there are always a ton of people there, but whenever it's someone else getting baptized it's rather difficult to get a good amount of people there.  It was really cute, the primary sang a song and the baptism went over well.  We had to fill the font up with buckets to get it filled on time, but it all went over well.

I also got to go on divisions this week.  While on the division in my area, we climbed up this red rock that we have in our area.  I've always wanted to climb up it, and so we did!  Usually there a lot of religious people up there praying/screaming and singing hymns and stuff.  We decided to take pictures!!! 

 They've got this cross up there that the Catholics put up and you could see the whole city!

  It was a good stress reliever.  We took some pics and got back to chugging along.

Anywho, that's it for this week.  We have Zone Conference this week so I'll get to see Elder Rutledge; it's been a while. Next week we also enter into the month of June, which means it's Festas Juninas/São João, so I'm pretty scared.  I'll try not to get blown up.  Anyways love you all and have a great week!

-Élder Johnson

P.S.  I finally bought a hammock!  I got it for 35 Reais too, which I feel is a bargain!

OOoooossshhhhhhh

Well another week has come and passed and not a whole lot has happened this week.  I usually get one week that's really exciting and then the next week is just kind of boring.  We did get a referral from a member and he should be baptized this week so that'll be pretty cool!  Yeah for member missionary work!!!  Other then that we taught a bit, contacted some people, did some service, and just normal missionary stuff.  We did manage to bring about 6 people to church; the members really helped us out on that one.  It was ward conference this last week and down here ward conference is kind of a big deal.  For ward conference they make invites and set goals to have a certain amount of people there.  I really don't see what the big deal is though, because it's just like every normal Sunday, it's just that they do sustaining and have the ward choir sing.  Anyways, everyone used it as an excuse to invite their friends to church so I can't really complain about that can I?

Other than that, that's about it for all of the interesting things that have happened this week.

However, there are changes about.  The World Cup is getting closer and closer everyday and you can see the change around here.  Every day there's one more store or house that just decorates everything with green and yellow.  You're starting to see a lot more flags down here and everyone is getting more and more excited.  As exciting as the World Cup is, it's not going to be too fun for us missionaries because nobody is going to want to talk with us for a whole month.  People will also use the World Cup as an excuse to drink and throw fireworks (aka little bombs) at the missionaries.  Businesses will be closed during the games and the schools have planned to shut down completely until the World Cup is over with.  The World Cup is also in the month of June, which has "Festas Juninas," which is the biggest holiday in all of northeast Brazil, also known as "São João."  São João is just a month long party where everyone dresses up like the Brazilian version of the wild west, listens to forró, eats things made out of corn, drink, build fires in the middle of the road, and throw fireworks at the missionaries.  All in all it's a wonderful time filled with mass hysteria, cats and dogs livin' together and all sorts of chaos, which will be just splendid.

Anyways that's not for a few more weeks so I don't need to worry about.  Yet...  All is well down here; I'm happy and alive for now.  Hope all is well back home.

Tchau,

Elder Johnson

Prayer Conquers Satan and So Does Elder Johnson

Well it sure was good to see all of you guys Sunday on Skype!!!  That's the last call you’re going to get on my mission so I hope you liked it!  Hope you had a happy mothers day Mãe!!!

Oh, it has also come to pass that I will be staying here for another transfer and I will be killing Elder Coon.  That'll make him the third missionary that I've killed.  I guess president really likes me doing that.

Well I hope that you all know, that I am very tired, this last week took a lot out of me.  

So here's the story.

For the past few weeks we've teaching this woman, her son is serving a mission and she's the only member of her family who hasn't been baptized.  She is very very catholic and didn't want anything to do with the church.  Well that changed a few months after her son left on a mission.  For some reason she just decided to read the Book of Mormon.  She just felt like that was a good idea and started reading it until one day she flagged down the missionaries on the street and asked to be baptized.  The other missionaries passed her to us and we've been working with her ever since.  Well here's the catch, every week something always happened to stop her baptism and it was getting rather frustrating.  Last week I wrote about how frustrating it was and how I drowned my sorrows in Açaí.  Well I thought maybe she was trying to hide from us.  Elder Coon thought it would be a good idea to keep trying and see if we can work a miracle.  We went to her house and we were able to talk with her.  Turned out she wasn't hiding from us, but had something come up the week before, so we marked her baptism for this Saturday.

I swear, something happened almost every day to keep her from getting baptized this last week, it was ridiculous.  We had an emergency Thursday night, but we managed to save it, she said she wasn't going to let anything stop her from getting baptized.

We then came up with a great idea.

So her son is serving a mission and this last weekend was mother's day, which means he could Skype home.  So we thought, "Hey! Why don't we have him Skype her during her baptism?  That would be pretty sick!!!"  So we got in contact with his mission and we managed to get everything set up.

Satan, however, had other plans.

Saturday, we get a text from her saying she can't get baptized.  We walk over to her house, save the day, and then go on our way to lunch.  As we were leaving lunch we called our Ward Mission Leader who happens to be a good friend of the family.  He tells us she decided to not get baptized.  We left her alone for 1 HOUR!!!!! 1 HOUR and look at what happened.  I naturally was upset and it manifested itself (aka light pathetic weeping.)  We walked over to her house and she wasn't there.  More weeping ensued.  Our Ward Mission Leader said he was going to hunt her down, so we did the only thing we could do, fill up the baptismal font and get the Skype ready.  We waited and waited and finally, a few hours after the planned baptism, she showed up!!!!  MIRACLES HAPPEN PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!  She came and was finally baptized!!!  Her son got to watch the whole thing on Skype and it appeared like something out of a movie just because of how well everything worked out.  Everyone was happy and this family is one step closer to being united.  It was probably one of the most eventful memorable baptisms of all time, but it was also the most stressful.  Anyways, they all lived happily ever after.

So yeah, besides talking with you all this week, that was probably the most eventful thing to happen.  It definitely left us exhausted.  Anywho, love you all and I hope you guys had a wonderful Dia das Mães. I know it was one to remember down here.  To send you all off this week, I'll give you guys a couple of examples of good parenting I have seen this week:

-A Woman teaching her son to urinate in the middle of the road.

-A Father driving a motorcycle, with his little baby standing up on the front holding on to the handlebars.

Oh, parenting...

-Élder Johnson

P.S.  Everyone down here says that Dad looks a lot like the ex-mayor of Aracaju, Edivaldo Nogueira.  I have to say, you two do look rather similar.

     

  

Thieving Monkeys

Well this week was sure a lot more exciting than the last week was.

First off we have a member who has a problem with thieves breaking into her house and stealing her food.  The thieves happen to be monkeys however, and she can't leave bananas out on her table or the monkeys will sneak in and start eating them.  That's definitely a problem you don't have to worry too much about in the U.S.A.

It has also been rainy these past few days, which has been awesome.  I like the rain down here.  I'm currently on my third umbrella because the rain has wrought havoc on my past two and they, unfortunately, did not survive the Brazilian tempests.  It rains sideways here to most of the time, so the umbrella only really keeps the upper half of your body dry.  People down here have been complaining that it has been "cold" the past few days, and therefore are taking appropriate measures to keep warm, such as sleeping in: socks, gloves, and coats.  You probably think I'm joking around about people sleeping in coats but it is no lie!!  We were teaching this woman who said she had to sleep in such attire.  She told us that she was dying from the cold while me and my companion where sitting there drenched in our own sweat.

People....

Oh I did something super adult like and mature the other day, I bought a washing machine!!!  Yep I went to the store and did all sorts of super cool financial and grown up stuff. (AKA pointing to which washing machine I wanted to buy.)  Yeah, our washing machine, unfortunately, reached the end of it's life the other day and stopped working so we had to buy another one, which should be arriving on Wednesday!!!

So here's a pretty interesting story.  The other week I did an interview for a man who was a candidate for baptism.  We reached a certain a part and realized that he would have to change the way he lived or he couldn't be baptized.  He decided that he would rather live his old lifestyle and I told him that he couldn't get baptized, and that was that.

Well that's what I thought at least.

Turns out that he started talking bad about me to a bunch of people, including some members.  He told some people that I phrased one of the standard baptismal questions in a very vulgar and very inappropriate way, which was an utter lie; I said it exactly as the question was written.  He then started saying that we were a cult and what not and it just got kind of crazy.  Turns out he didn't like the fact that I told him he couldn't get baptized so he started saying all of these mean and hurtful things.  Oh well, what are you going to do.

I also got to go on a division with one of the elders in my district to the city of Laranjeiras, which translates to Orange Trees.  The name of the city however, is very misleading, because there is not a single orange tree in the entire city.  THIS IS FALSE ADVERTISING!!!!  It was really cool, because it looks exactly like Viçosa!  Just more ghetto.  They've got this little group out there and they have their meetings in some guy's house and it's currently a little group with a lot of potential to grow.  I just thought it was cool because it reminded me of a past area.

A Cappella de Laranjeiras  (The Chapel of Oranges)

So now we're getting to the sad news of the week.  We had this baptism all prepared for this week, we were following up with here, everything was all set.  I was happy, Elder Coon was happy, she was happy.

Until Friday.

Friday the house fell down.  She disappeared off the face of the earth and no one has been able to find her, or talk with her since.  We showed up with the Zone Leaders to do the interview and alas she was not found.  We had faith that we would be able to find her on Saturday, the day of the baptism.  We even filled up the font as a demonstration of our faith.  However, she apparently had other plans and still hasn't shown up.  This naturally could be a big ol' slap in the face for my faith and self esteem, but it is all good, I did my part.

Needless to say, Saturday was a bit rough, we drowned our sorrows in Açaí and tried to teach some other lessons but alas, none could feel the gaping hole in my heart, which could only be filled by her baptism.  After a bit of light weeping, we did have a miracle in a different form.  Our recent convert, got up to bore her testimony during fast and testimony meeting and it was amazing!!!  Until now, she's already read:  The Book of Mormon almost twice,  The Gospel Principles manual,  Daughters in My Kingdom,  The Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Fielding Smith,  The Pearl of Great Price, and is currently pounding down Doctorine and Covenants.  She got up a bared her testimony and she sounded like someone who has been a member for years.  She told everyone how she was searching for truth and to learn more and how God sent her two angels to come and show her the truth.  I was very happy.

The Acai I drowned my sorrows in.

So that about wraps things up for now.  This is the last week before transfers, because this transfer is only a transfer of four weeks. So we'll be working to end things on a high note.  Love you all, and just to let you know, that picture of the cast of the new star wars movie just made me tremble with excitement.

Star Wars 7 cast.

May the fourth be with you.

-Élder Johnson

Pitomba

Jabuticaba

Goats Sleeping Behind My Eyes... (& Ethan's Baptism Video)

So another week has come and pass down here in good 'ol ala Soledade!!!  This week was rather a disappointment though.  We tried to do some things different this week and it seemed like we were really busy the whole week, but nothing just ended up working out for us.  This next week should be pretty sick though, we've got a baptism lined up and we're working on ways to work with the members so everything should go over well this week.

Keyword: should.

Really though nothing too interesting happened this week, it was your normal, every day, week in Brazil.  People called us names, threatened us, oh and my personal favorite, told me that I had "Goats sleeping behind my eyes," you may ask me, Élder Johnson, what does it mean to have "Goats sleeping behind your eyes?"  Well, your guess is as good as mine. 

Well yeah, that's really about it, I don't have anything interesting to tell you all.  Sorry this week was such a disappointment, next week will have some better stuff for sure, so until next week!

-Élder Johnson

 ** Hi, this is Elder Johnson's mother.  A couple of weeks ago Elder Johnson's younger brother Ethan was baptized into the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I asked our missionary son if he would write a special talk for Ethan that we could read at his baptism so he could be part of this special day.  Instead of writing a talk he received permission to make a video of his talk and then sent it to us to play during the baptism program.  (This is soooo Tanner.  Why write a talk when you can make a video.)  Elder Johnson wanted to keep this a surprise from me and I didn't know about it until I saw his video being played at Ethan's baptism.  There were lots of good tears and smiles and it made the day even more special.  It was nice to have our missionary son, who is in Brazil finding those searching for the gospel, to play a part in his brother's baptism who has become a member of the church Elder Johnson is serving.  We wanted to share Elder Johnson's special message and let him know how proud we are of him.  Love my son.  (P.S. you might have to turn up your volume to hear it better.) **

Elder Johnson's video playing at his brother Ethan's baptism.

Our family on Ethan's baptism day.  We even brought "Flat Tanner" so he could be part of the occasion.

Pascóa

Another week has come and gone here in the beautiful land of Sergipe.  So I guess I'll start off with what we did for Pday today.  Today we went to....

The Zoo!

Yeah, THE ZOO!!!!!!  A few weeks ago we asked a member what were some cool things to do down here in Aracaju and he said there was this zoo here that was pretty cool.  We were a little taken a back because we didn't even know that they had zoos down here in the north east, and guess what the best part is.... it’s free!!!!  There is one catch to the zoo though, it's open every day of the week except one, can you guess which day it isn't open?

Monday...

Missionaries have always tried to go to the zoo, but alas it is always closed for maintenance on Mondays, BUT, today is Tiradentes, a holiday for the Brazilian patriot Tiradentes, who helped lead a rebellion against the Portuguese in the state of Minas Gerais and was hanged to death, but because of what he did Brazil eventually gained its independence (one of the members of our ward is a history teacher.)  So what does that all mean to me?  That the zoo is open for only one Monday a year and it just so happens to be on Tiradentes (thank you Tiradentes) so we took our opportunity and went.  The zoo was pretty cool.  It ain’t no Hogle Zoo, but it'll do. 

 They did have some pretty interesting looking animals that you just don't have in the states.  They also had this pretty neat chairlift that you could ride over the top of the mountain but it was 14 Reais, so we decided not to. 

So we had the baptism for our good friend João this week.  He's been going to church for about six years and nobody knew he wasn’t baptized.  Well he was baptized on Saturday, so now everything is all good.  He wanted me to baptize him, which I was honored to do and now he's like our best friend.

We also got a golden referral this past week.  This lady has a son on a mission and at first didn't like anything about the church.  Now she said she just felt like she should start reading the Book of Mormon and now will be getting baptized this Saturday.  She said it was probably because of her son's prayers.  Needless to say he's very happy, she's very happy, and we're very happy.  #hapyness4dayz   The only people who probably aren't too happy are the missionary Elders we got the referral from.  They were teaching her, but then she moved into our ward, which is about two houses out of their area.  That's pretty rough man.

Also this week was "A Semana Santa" which included "Sexta-feira do paixão", "A Pascóa",  "Domingo de Ramos", "Sabado de Aleiluia", and "Quinta-Feira da Ceia", or just to put it a lot simpler, Easter.  Since Brazil is mainly a Catholic nation, there are quite a bit of Catholic Easter traditions.  Traditions like little parades the Catholic Church puts on throughout the week and nobody can eat meat, only fish.  Apparently that's kind of an unforgivable thing to do.  We asked for meat at this restaurant the other day and the waitress just kind of gave us this unbelieving kind of look.  The holiday basically starts on Thursday and that's when all other businesses shut down and everyone gets out of school.  Which means just a lot of loud music in the road, drinking, and partying, like usual.

I did take the time this week to study a lot about the Atonement.  I reread the Atonement chapters in the book “Jesus the Christ”, and I took a lot of time to ponder the Atonement.  It's amazing to really think about what Jesus went through.  I think we really get an appreciation for the Atonement when we really feel it working in our lives, to feel that the Atonement has actually made me a better person.  And that "Starting Today" we can rewrite who we are, become a better person, and not have to continue being what we once were.  We all have an eternal potential and "Because of Him" we can become something much greater than what me think we are right now.  That even though this life will be filled with imperfection, pain, disappointment, that people may fail us, human and mortal weakness may prevail every now and then, and we of course will fall short from time to time, but because Jesus conquered death and took upon every pain and dreadful thing anyone has ever done, we can become something more.  We can one day be forever with those we love.  We can one day become something absolutely amazing because of what Jesus did for us.  I highly doubt that there's a more beautiful idea out there than the true meaning of Atonement.  I'm thankful for what Jesus did for me and I've seen this gift work miracles in other people and in myself.  He's done so much for me and for that I will be forever thankful.

Well that's it for this week.  Easter was great down here and all is well.  Hope you all have a great week!!

-Élder Johnson e Johnson's

It's Good To Be In Brazil.

Puppy.  What more do you want?

Well we got the transfer call and it looks like I'm staying in Soledade with Elder Coon for another transfer.  I'm excited, this last transfer was pretty legit and it ended very well if I do say so myself.

So on Saturday we had the baptism for our investigator Clécia and it was awesome!!  Before her baptism she managed to read the entire Book of Mormon all the way through and is currently in Alma.  She also got to read the whole Gospel Principles manual.  Before her baptism she got up and bore her testimony on repentance and it was just amazing.  The next day she came to church all happy and I had the privilege to confirm her.  She had a lot of her family come to the baptism and they had a bunch of questions afterwards so we'll see how it goes with them.  All in all everyone was just super happy and it was a great success.

To celebrate our day of extreme happiness, we added even more happiness to the equation by buying Açaí.  Açaí is probably one of the greatest things known to mankind.  It's this fruit they take from the Amazon and they freeze to ridiculously cold temperatures.  They then add a bunch of stuff like nuts, strawberries, pineapple, bananas, and granola, which makes it probably one of the tastiest things in the whole wide world.  You can't help but just smile while you eat it.  You take a bite and just smile from ear to ear.  The stuff gets you amped too, with its natural energy and what not, you just feel like you're on top of the world and that you can do just about anything.

Açai is the purple stuff.

Lasagna is also super good down here; Brazilian lasagna is way better than American lasagna.  In the states when you get lasagna, you think, "Oh that's cool, I like lasagna."  Here, when you get lasagna, you think "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!"  You get all excited, it occupies your thoughts, and gets you all excited until you eat it.

So some funny things this week:

I became a plumber this week.  Our drain got backed up a bit so we had to find a way to unclog it.  We used The Most Sophisticated Brazilian Missionary Plumbing Tool we had with us, a wire coat hanger, and I went to work.  It was a pretty easy fix.  For some reason what appeared to be the stick to a tootsie pop got stuck in our shower drain, which makes no sense because tootsie pops don't exist down here.  All in all I saved the day and I'm so great and a hero and what not now.

Members of the church down here know a thing or two about English that they've learned from missionaries or companions on the mission.  Everyone knows words like:  Crazy and Freaking.  The other day I heard someone say, "Holy Cow" and I just about died of laughter.  I've never heard that one down here before.

So I heard a new rumor about the Mormon missionaries down here, which is "The Mormons are here to suck peoples blood."  That was a new one.  I'm adding that to my list of crazy things people say about us, which includes:

• The Mormons are here to eat in people's houses.
• The Mormons are werewolves.
• The Mormons kidnap virgins and keep them as prisoners in our churches.
• The Mormons are a cult.
• The Mormons don't worship Jesus.  People tell me that while they look at my name tag that says "A igreja de JESUS CRISTO dos santos dos últimos dias."
• And my personal favorite:  The Mormons are here to kidnap people, bring them to America, and sell their organs on the black market.
• And now the new edition:  The Mormons are here to suck people’s blood.

Yeah, us Mormons are pretty crazy.  There was also some guy who wanted to Bible bash with us while I was on a division and resorted to just telling us a bunch of other crazy stuff.  In the end he said God told him to date his cousin so we just left him there.

Well, overall this was a pretty sick week.  We should be having another baptism this week, which was actually a surprise. This lady in our ward came up to us and asked us if we could baptize her fiancée who was been going to church for over five years.  Nobody knew that he wasn't baptized yet, so we should be getting a free baptism this week!  Pretty great huh?

Well I'm glad you're all great back home.  Sounds like Ethan's baptism was a hit.  I heard the speaker you guys had did a really great job or somethin’.  (FYI: Tanner made a surprise video that his family played at his brother’s Ethan’s baptism and it was great!).  Congratulations Ethan and congratulations Ryan for performing the baptism.  Anyways have a great week everyone and I'll talk to you all next week.

It's good to be in Brazil.

-Élder Johnson e Johnson's

Brazil

Churrasco & Tereré

Almoço  (lunch)

Oh Conference

Someone who excitedly painted JESUS! on their sidewalk.

Oh conference, aren't you just the best.

This marks my third general conference on the mission.  It was pretty cool, I was a little sad that they didn't announce any new temples, but I guess it makes sense that they want to finish making all the temples that they already have announced first.  Conference is a lot of time spent at the church; we were there for about 6 hours on Saturday.  Down here we always watch conference in Portuguese so we can stay with our investigators.  I liked the talk by Elder Henry B. Eyring, especially the part where he welcomed anyone who was invited by the missionaries, our investigator looked over at us and said "Hey!  He's talking to me!"

Our investigator is just the best, we should be having her baptism this Saturday, which is exciting.  She went to all 5 sessions of conference, even the women's meeting.  She's already read the Book of Mormon all the way through once and is on her second read; mind you we've only been teaching her for about 3 weeks.  She has however, been one of the most challenging investigators in the sense that I may not have all the answers to her questions.  Like the other day she read this scripture:  Genesis 6:4

 4 There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare to them, the same became mighty men which were of old men of renown.

She had the following questions:

1.  What does the phrase "sons of God" mean ( e.g. angels or people) and what's the difference between them and "the daughters of man?"

2.  Where do giants fit into this scripture and what was their relationship with the sons of god and the daughters of man?

For those of you who don't know, there is no section in Preach My Gospel that gives a thorough explanation as to what this scripture means, so I was la bit caught off guard but I came up with a sufficient answer.  Anyone who can give the correct answer gets 10 Reais.

So we're hoping everything goes well for this Saturday.

It was also cool to hear that our mission President Gonzaga was called to be an Area Seventy!!  Way to go President!  

Really that's about it for this week, we'll be preparing our investigator for her baptism and we should end the transfer on a high note.  That's it for this week.  Until next week!!!!

Elder Johnson

Mungunzá, which is corn, coconut milk, with sugar on top, it's really really good.

Some little girl asked us to draw her a picture, so this is what we drew.